Trusting and reaching out

A couple of months ago I had an angel reading with Chantel Lysette, whom I think is awesome. Her book "Azrael Loves Chocolate and Michael's A Jock" rocks and has had a profound affect on my life and my relationship with the Angels.

Anyway I digress. Archangel Michael came through and Chantel was spot on about so many aspects of my character, in particular the fact that I am an intensely private person, I don't trust people easily and as a result have a very small group of close friends to whom I am fiercely loyal.

This is all very true. My 'world' has been made up of a small nucleus of people whom I have allowed to get close to me, but it took a long time. I'm as flighty as a nervous horse when it comes to letting people in. 14 years in the police contributed largely to this; one was kind of brainwashed into believing that nobody on the outside could be trusted and to be honest when you are dealing with the worst elements of society it does make you believe that. It took a long time after retiring before I was able to start dropping my guard and learning to trust people on the outside; some friends say that in certain circumstances I still have a blue light on my head, it's usually in large crowds or situations that can be intimidating. I always have an 'eye' out for potential danger.

There is a sort of structure to the people in my world, where people fall into certain categories.

• Family (the biological family)
  
• My adopted family – friends that are so close and important to me they feel more like siblings
  
• Friends – Still people I consider close, but not in the inner circle. It's a term that I don't use lightly.
  
• Acquaintances – speaks for itself really; people I know, but don't consider them friends
  
• Everybody else
  

I do want to believe in the inherent goodness in people and I endeavour never to judge someone for what they do, but there have been so many instances where my wanting to trust people has backfired that I have chosen to withdraw largely from the world and people. I find it too harsh and if I don't let people too close they can't hurt me.

I was, therefore, filled with a sense of dread when Chantel told me that Michael needed me to come out of my comfort zone and to start trusting and interacting with people more. I definitely don't trust anybody in this country where I've made my home and I really didn't want to start going out and making friends with the people in the community. However it was going to happen whether I liked it or not and my stubborn streak could not match his. Oh deep joy I thought. I didn't want a battle over this and I do trust the Angels, they have never let me down so I decided that I would make the first steps. I started making an effort to leave my home and to go down to the beach and to interact with whoever was there, but it just didn't feel right.

What I've discovered is that I was viewing all this from a very limited view point and that the Angels have far greater and inspired ideas about what they want for us. I spend a lot of time on my computer and in cyberspace following gingerbread crumb trails that lead me to all sorts of information. I will even confess to spending a fair amount of time in the virtual world of Farm Town on Facebook. Suddenly these pastimes have started bringing me into contact with people from all over the world and friendships are starting to develop. There is a lovely couple in Texas whom I talk to on a daily basis, I've met a very nice lady from Korea and my newest friends are a lovely lady in Spain and subsequently her sister who lives in England. Somebody else on Facebook reached out to me and that led me to a wonderful forum where a huge number of incredible, gifted and spiritual people are gathering, sharing and opening up to form a new family. It's amazing. These people are opening up their souls to share their experiences and I have felt safe enough to reach out and share my beliefs about things that I would never have felt able to before. The interactions with amazing people are developing in such a beautiful way, that the Angels know I can handle and feel safe with.

The logical fear based mind has sneaked in and tried to tell me it's not real these friendships over the internet, that people can hide their true selves; what I say to the fear based mind is that this is also true of people that you encounter in the real world. They can hide their true nature and their motivations. That is what living in Sri Lanka has taught me, behind the smiling friendly faces are schemes to find out how much many they can extract from you. I'm sure it's not all of them and I don't judge them for it, it's their culture.

So I thank the Angels for their ingenious means of getting me to interact with people more and I welcome the new friends and future family into my life.