For a long time I've had issues about using the 'G' word. It's not that I don't believe in God, I do and now that I understand things more clearly and have got over my anger about being here, I have quite a good relationship with him/her. But the word itself is a problem and I think it's because to me it's synonymous with religion, dogma and repression.
When I think of Him I see a huge lion. I know this has been inspired by my favourite books The Chronicles of Narnia. For years I was blissfully unaware of the Christian symbolism of the books, I probably would have avoided them like the plague had I known. In fact I have to say that I still don't understand how Aslan is Jesus. For me he is God.
There have been some occasions when I've managed to make my mind stay still and I've been able to meditate that I have seen myself nestled between the paws of a huge lion, safe and loved. When I've come back I've had the feeling that for a few brief moments I've been home, I've been hugged by a being I think of as Father and I know that everything is OK.
The name I use when I'm conversing with him now is simply Father and on the exceedingly rare occasions that I make reference to him to another person I call him Big Paws. They might look at me quizzically and ask me why, but I find that I don't get the wide eyed response that would come if I used the 'G' word. Heavens! People might think I was getting religious.
He doesn't mind when I call him that. He knows that it is said with reverence and love and represents the joy he brings to my heart.
I love you Big Paws. x
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